Revision from writing center

     In order to get extra help about my draft, I went to writing center yesterday and asked the teacher there for advice. And I learned several things from her.

     First of all, I corrected my mind about writing an essay. Basically when we are going to write a introduction paragraph(the first paragraph), the thesis statement comes at the end of the paragraph. The previous sentences are like hooks to attract readers; just like a inverted triangle, the most important idea always shows in the end of the introduction paragraph. Then comes our body paragraphs to list different evidences to support our main idea of the whole essay. It's essential to notice that each body paragraph requires a topic and an ending sentence. A topic sentence for a body paragraph is like a branch of our thesis statement, and an ending sentence looks like an restatement. Between the topic and ending sentences, there must be strong evidence and analysis to prove the topic sentence and so prove the thesis statement indirectly. When we are going to write an essay and say something about a book or a movie, it's neccessary to put quotations into body paragraphs instead of simply summarizing and analysizing the story, because direct quotes make our idea strong and powerful. What's more, the rules of writing the title for a book and a movie are different. When we are introducing a book, the format should go like this: the book, Me and You by Nicholas Ammaniti; and the format for a movie is: the movie, Breakfast at Tiffany's directed by Blake Edwards.

      We focused more on how to figure out whether the summary I wrote was really neccessary. It's a common phenomenon when writing our body paragraphs, too many summaries are added in, and thus it makes the whole paragraph look long and boring. Others may find it difficult to identify what is the most important information to concentrate on. In order to make our summaries be powerful and useful, we need to think about which summary is the most essential one that we cannot leave without it. A really useful summary always brings the readers to the main point that the author wants to point out. Then the analysis plays a role which is used to prove the topic sentence. At last, we can write a concluding paragraph to conclude the topic sentences written in the preivious paragraphs and restate our thesis statement by paraphrasing. That's how a regular essay goes.

     Also, a good essay should be strong and direct but not wordy. I found that my sentences were wordy by using too many unnecessary words like "that" and so it made my sentences seem to be long and not powerful enough. As a result, I deleted many words or simplified some phrases which were unnecessary and could be converted into one word. And I got rid of some summaries which were not important. In order to make my analysis be strong and improved, I added some quotes and explained more clearly to be easy to understand.

     These are what I learned from writing center yesterday.